You Wonder Why I Don’t Speak Up

 

When you see me and I’m quiet and reclusive you wonder why that is. Whenever others are talking over each other being loud, I am quiet, have you ever thought about stopping and wondering why? You probably haven’t because you’re possibly under the impression that I’m not approachable, because I don’t smile enough for your standards, I’m not the first to say hello when I enter a room, and that small talk is very difficult for me. I’m not making excuses for this, I’m actually embracing this. It took me 25 years to do this, so I’m proud of myself. However, If you knew the reason why I don’t speak out, hopefully you’ll think about the time I spoke up in class and people were snickering in the back of the classroom when I gave an answer to the professor, or when I gave that presentation to the class, or maybe when someone completely discredited a point I had, but it turned out to be a good one. (I’m quiet but I know what I’m talking about most of the time) Hopefully you’ll be ok to approach me to get to know me and then you’ll find out that when people are being loud that makes me anxious because I’m introverted. Like I said earlier I’m not ashamed of this at all. I think it’s funny when I actually speak up people act like they never knew I could talk. Well I’m a firm believer that God gave us one mouth and two ears for a reason. That’s just me. Peace. 

Why I Choose to Persevere

Hello everyone I’m back like Michael Jordan in March, 1995 (When he came back from baseball.) It’s crazy that I haven’t posted in so long. Well let’s get to the business at hand, y’all reading this to know why I choose to persevere, not for tired sports similes. I was told recently from a family member that my ability to persevere is unmatched; this was caught me off guard, because I never knew anyone else noticed this about me. Let me give you a little background information about why she said this… DISCLAIMER: I’M NOT BRAGGING ABOUT THIS. I THANK GOD FOR BRINGING ME THROUGH THIS. Well after high school I joined the Army. I was in Air Force Junior Reserve Officers’ Training Corps (Man you couldn’t tell me shit then *face palm* I was so extra when I was in high school) and I wanted to join the military thereafter so I did. I took the ASVAB like you’re supposed to and I didn’t do too hot on it (Standardized Tests are the devil) so I joined the Army in a sort of rushed decision, but I honestly didn’t want to be seen as doing nothing after high school so I joined. Well seven short, really short months later I had to get out do to really bad shin splints (That’s an even longer story). When I got out I really didn’t what I was going to do, but I knew that I wanted to go to college I didn’t know what I was going to do with a college degree I just knew I wanted to go. Well I go to school and I’m doing so much better than I did in high school (Which wasn’t that hard to do unfortunately, but you live and learn). Well I started to like school I did well in community college then got accepted to The University of North Carolina at Greensboro, but before I went to UNCG my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer now this was crazy I never knew anyone that had cancer especially that close to me. Although I looked strong and brave on the outside, but believe you me I was scared as hell on the inside. Thank God she recovered very quickly!!  Then I got to UNCG, and on the second day of classes, my grandfather (My true father figure) passed away suddenly to me, but probably expected to others. That was really tough, but I had a job to do at UNCG. Here were a few things that have happened in my life that has really tested my faith, but thank God I’m still here and pushing along! Now I’ve graduated from UNCG, and now I’m a first-year graduate student at the world’s greatest HBCU (Debate me about it!!)

 

 

What You Not Going To Do Is Come For A&T

I’ve been faithful to Thee illustrious North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University for a while now and what pisses me off is knowing the history that came from that campus people still say disrespectful things about that legendary institution. NCAT isn’t just about GHOE, they are about changing the world and that’s just what their alumni do because Aggies Do because they have that Aggie Pride! As of January, 2018 I’ll be apart of that long legacy of world changing student body and I wish someone would disrespect the T in front of me, and yes I wear Aggie gear at my current institution and I do it unapologetically so!

You’re Not Supposed to Die in College

With about 10 years working with young children, and serving in various positions working with my peers hearing that a young person has died kills my spirit especially when that person is in college. Ive been at UNC Greensboro for over two years and several people have passed away. Whether they were sick or they died in a car accident it hurts me the same and I didn’t know any of them personally. I’ve said this and I’ll continue to say that college is supposed to be a time to grow professionally, emotionally, and socially, but when this stage is the last stage of that person’s life to me that’s not fair although God has the final say. Life is too short not to accept people for who they are because you never know you might learn something from that person. Too many young adults are so cutthroat when they deal with their peers it just doesn’t make sense to me. We’re all in this life together no matter what walk of life you come from we need to cling together not apart.

Material Things

People often ask others what would you do if you suddenly got 10 million dollars. Some people claim that they would just buy homes, cars, and clothes; basically cash out. Others claim that they would make sure their family is straight, but for me I’ve thinking what would I do with that kind of money. Of course I’d buy a house and a car and make sure my family straight, but with the majority of that money I’d spend it on the cause (pumping it in the black community) let me explain how I would do so. I would buy a building and use it to make sure the people in that community are educated. I would provide a place where high schoolers can come to study and learn about their future careers whether technical or a career that requires them to have a four year degree, a place where adults can find jobs and get tips on professional development, a place where other professionals can come to network, but most of all a space where the people in that community can actually belong in. Too many spaces are designed to keep out African Americans this would be a place where they can call theirs.

Just Thinking

I can’t stand it when a black person gets a higher position they flip the switch not know if they do something wrong they will lose whatever status they have at the drop of a hat. What happen to the if I eat my whole community eats idea? What has made us abandon that? Money? Position? What has made so many people act so apathetic to their own people? I guess I’m the exception to the rule I live by if I eat you eat too. That’s the communal being that’s within me.

I’m still blogging!

I’m still here just trying to  make it through this summer camp (I work at the Boys and Girls Clubs of Cleveland County). Plus I’m trying to get things together for grad school. I’m trying to be an AGGIE (Not Texas A&M, but the illustrious North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University!) so when I get all that done I’ll be back full time!

Love Yourself

It took me all of 24 years on this Earth to actually love myself. I’ve grown from kid who was bullied, treated as if I was incompetent to a man who lives on educating others so they can have the most comfortable life that they can live. I never want to see any person male or female not enjoying life. Back on loving myself growing up people always used to say if you look at yourself in the mirror and say (insert motivational quote here) that you’ll build confidence but hell I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror long enough to do that. But I looked into that mirror a couple weeks ago and I told myself that I’m a pretty awesome person! Though it took all those years I finally have confidence in myself and I want to make it my life’s work to motivate all people young or old no matter who they are.

The Impact of a Black Woman

I’m so tired of black men in 2017 saying they don’t fool with black women because they are (insert a bullshit reason), but they won’t tell you that the real reason is that they don’t mess with black women is that black women won’t accept the foolishness that some men bring to the relationship. My mother saw a young black woman getting verbally abused by her husband or boyfriend and then I asked her was the man black? When she told me that he was I felt really hurt because the black woman is the only woman who has truly had the black man’s back and this is how she’s repaid? That’s totally unacceptable, because first off their mother is a black woman and even if they didn’t have a relationship with her I know there was a black woman somewhere that treated them like he was her own, so again I say disrespecting a black woman is unacceptable.

Sidenote: This is about black relationships. I don’t condone abuse of any kind toward any woman, but this is about black relationships.

Educators Make The World Go Around

I’m an aspiring educator. Not in English, Math, or Science, but in how to survive in this society 101. I want to make sure my fellow brothers and sisters make it. I want to make sure high school students know how to build a resume and how important extracurricular activities are. I want to make sure college students are finding spaces where they can network and build connections that will help them after college. I want to help first year students find the resources they need to stay in school, be competitive with their peers, and help them graduate. I always thought that I would be a teacher of sorts, but never knew that I would be an advocate for first generation college students.